Can babies really be manipulative?

I often hear people's advice on how to respond (or not!) to baby's "whims" and cries. "Don't attend to their every call/cry or you'll have a spoiled child!", "Don't pick him up every time he calls out or you will never be able to move without him!", "They will quickly learn to manipulate you!"...

Firstly a baby's thinking brain, or the pre-frontal cortex, responsible for problem solving, organising, planning behaviour, judging etc... is one of the last parts of their brain to fully develop, namely around the mid 20s. Secondly what a baby has at her disposal to meet her needs is her voice and you! You are your baby's world! When she attempts to get some help from you, at best you understand what she needs (food, rest, cuddles, stimulation, pain relief or comfort) and provide for it; at worst you have no idea what the issue is but the simple holding and comforting reassures her that she is not alone! Your baby is not trying to provoke you, to manipulate you, to purposefully upset you: he is trying to make sense of his feelings, of his sensations, of the world!

It is now common knowledge that in order to help our little ones develop into happy, trusting individuals, they need to have had enough experience of the world as a place they can trust to provide them with all they need especially during the first year of life. So it is very important they feel our presence and our loving attention to their every need. As they grow more and more independent (at their own time, without being prematurely pushed along this process), they will be the first ones to venture further and further out into the world, with enough confidence in themselves, in their abilities and in the people around them to help them along the way. They will also learn to ask for help, a very important skill too many children AND adults seem to be lacking...Think of your child at school, with friends, in any social situation, at work.

We adults possess a tremendous power: we can support and promote a healthy development, or we can obstruct it, hinder it. Let's stop and think about the consequences of our actions and words first, and then act wisely.